25 Things for 25
2016 is coming to an end. In half-year I will turn 26, therefore I decided to write a post about 25 life lessons I have learned over the last 25 years of my life. At age 25, you already experience a few of life's major milestones; saying I love you to your parents, your first-day school, first love, first heartbreak, university graduation, your first job interview, first day at work...then boom! You are living your quarter-century.
No one's life will ever be "perfect", it is a composition of ups and downs. Just like those cliche saying "life is like a rollercoaster" or" life is like a box of chocolates". And it is absolutely true that life is never certain and is based on decision-making. I'm grateful for those 25 years for what I have learned.
25 Things for 25
1. Be true to yourself
The school is like this mini-society where everyone is trying to find their true identity yet is difficult because of the urge of fitting in. As a teenager, I was a quiet one because I was always observing my surroundings. I was never in any large group at school, but I am glad. I got to be who I am and who I want to be, and act in accordance with what I believe.
2. Be grateful
Life is never certain, so appreciate that everything is a gift. We never know what's going to happen in our lives, and we never know what's going to happen in someone else's life either, so cherish everything and everyone that we encounter.
3.Balance
The universe seeks balance, so do we. In theory, in the process of seeking balance, the universe creates everything with two poles (everything has its opposite, eg. like and dislike, light and dark, hot and cold). However, there is no absolute truth in the universe. There are different degrees of like and dislike, different shades of light and dark, and different levels of hot and cold. I learned that it is important to find balance in family, friends, health, career, and love to achieve happiness in life.
4. Everything has a purpose in life
Pretty cliche, right? But it is true. Everything we do, everyone we meet, every place we go, every feeling we feel all have a purpose in life. Every element in life will eventually serve its purpose in your life. Nothing is ever a waste of time, so keep moving forward and never stop learning.
5. Minimalism is the key to living lightweight
We accumulate more belongings day by day, yet often we will still feel there is something missing in life. That is how I felt for a long time. I would go on a shopping spree and the next day I will still feel empty and the need to have more things in my life. When I started the process of becoming a minimalist, the feeling of emptiness disappeared. I no longer have the urge to shop, to have more clothing, etc. I was able to get the most use out of what I had.
6. Don't care about people (aka hater)
Just do what you believe is the best thing to do in life. Regardless of how hard you try, there will always be someone that disagrees or dislike you. We are not born to be like by everyone, we are born to do things we like.
7. Try to step into someone's shoe every once in a while
We are born to be different, our personality, perspective, and beliefs. We are bound to encounter a difference in life, we are bound to disagree with others. It is inevitable to have different opinions. However, we should always view the world from other's perspective, it will not only allow you to gain a better understanding of the whole world but also allows you to understand where others are coming from.
8. Never expect people to treat you the same way you treat others
"Treat others the way you would want to be treated." I used to believe that and I still follow the rules that I will treat others the way I want to be treated. However, I will not expect people to treat me the same way nor receive any form of return. And why is that? Because not everyone shares the same value.
It is much easier to treat people nicely and continue to do so. In comparison to, treat people nicely and fall into the realization that people do not appreciate your niceness at all. Nowadays I just treat people nicely regardless of the way they treat me, I just cannot be bothered to feel "hurt" or "used" by people I used to care for anymore.
The older you get, the more you learn about "people".
The more you learn about people, the more you learn about humanity.
The more you learn about humanity, the more you learn about "selfishness".
The more you learn about selfishness, the more you learn about "to be yourself and to care less".
9. Try new things
New things will bring new blood and a new story into your life. If you do not try, you will never know how it is. We as humans are comfortable in our comfort zone, there is no uncertainty or challenge. However as time goes by, you may hit the "burnout" phase, which you will lose enthusiasm in life.
10. You don't know it all
One thing I learned in the past 25 years is that "you don't know it all".
Keep learning; don't be arrogant by assuming you know it all, that you have a monopoly on the truth, always assume that you can learn something from someone else because you properly will.
11.Love yourself
Most of the time we worried about what other people thought of you, so by the time you get older you start realized it's a lot less of what people think of you, it's a lot more of you think of yourself. The way you see yourself and the way you treat yourself is crucial to how people will treat you. If you think less of yourself, people will think less of you too, so treat yourself well and treat others well too.
12. Nothing remains the same in life, change helps us grow
Nothing remains constant in life, change may feel uneasy and uncertain, but that is exactly why we need to grow. Instead of being afraid of change, embrace it and focus on things you going to learn not things you going to lose.
13. Understand that someone will always be better
One thing I dislike about society is that some people love to compare. I believe sometime to compare is not a bad thing, it will give people an urge to improve in life. I believe there will always be someone that is better at something than you in life, and that's okay. You should never compare because it is unhealthy and unnecessary. But if you must compare, use it as an inspiration to be better, be motivated by it.
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree
If you win every argument, will it bring happiness to your life? The answer is properly no, and you will have fewer people in your life. Learn to agree to disagree and you will learn that life is not always about right or wrong.
15.Focus on what you can do for others rather than what others should be doing for you
Never wait for others to do something for you, do it yourself. It's the only way that you will grow.
16. Things will just be things
Money can buy you medicine, but not health. Money can buy you a watch, but not time. So don't focus on things or money, we should focus on what really matters, for example, people you love and people that love you.
17. A dancer dance. If you want to be a dancer, dance
If you want to be something or someone. Do it. Don't just think about it.
18. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?
I heard this quote from my university professor, and it has been a go-to quote when I feel sad or lost. If it will not matter in five years, then it is not a disaster.
19.“No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.” - Haruki Murakami
Regardless of good or bad memories, it makes who we are at this very moment.
20.Love is more than a feeling; it’s a choice
Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful. Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard, but it is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.
21.Health is underestimated.
Our well-being is more important than most of us treat it: without health, nothing else matters.
22.It’s okay to wait.
Sometimes it’s okay to wait a little longer for something. Why rush if you don’t have to? Why not enjoy the journey?
23.Remember that a failure is an event, not a person.
Never treat a failure as your whole life nor you. It is simply an event that happened in your life. For example, a failed relationship does not equal to the failure of your whole life. It is simply two people that did not work out at the end. Never ever treat a solo failure in life as a life ruining event. Treat it as a lesson.
24. The past has no power over the present moment.
Many of us lived in the shadow of the past. We worry about life based on what we experienced in the past. We worry about whether we will miss our train like the other day and be late to work, you worry about whether your current relationship will end up failing like the previous one etc. But remember, the past has nothing to do with your present life.
25. Life is a never ending journey.
There are much more for me to learn in this so-called life journey. I will never stop learning and I will cherish every moment in life regardless ups or downs.
Lastly, remember age is just a number.
No one's life will ever be "perfect", it is a composition of ups and downs. Just like those cliche saying "life is like a rollercoaster" or" life is like a box of chocolates". And it is absolutely true that life is never certain and is based on decision-making. I'm grateful for those 25 years for what I have learned.
25 Things for 25
1. Be true to yourself
The school is like this mini-society where everyone is trying to find their true identity yet is difficult because of the urge of fitting in. As a teenager, I was a quiet one because I was always observing my surroundings. I was never in any large group at school, but I am glad. I got to be who I am and who I want to be, and act in accordance with what I believe.
2. Be grateful
Life is never certain, so appreciate that everything is a gift. We never know what's going to happen in our lives, and we never know what's going to happen in someone else's life either, so cherish everything and everyone that we encounter.
3.Balance
The universe seeks balance, so do we. In theory, in the process of seeking balance, the universe creates everything with two poles (everything has its opposite, eg. like and dislike, light and dark, hot and cold). However, there is no absolute truth in the universe. There are different degrees of like and dislike, different shades of light and dark, and different levels of hot and cold. I learned that it is important to find balance in family, friends, health, career, and love to achieve happiness in life.
4. Everything has a purpose in life
Pretty cliche, right? But it is true. Everything we do, everyone we meet, every place we go, every feeling we feel all have a purpose in life. Every element in life will eventually serve its purpose in your life. Nothing is ever a waste of time, so keep moving forward and never stop learning.
5. Minimalism is the key to living lightweight
We accumulate more belongings day by day, yet often we will still feel there is something missing in life. That is how I felt for a long time. I would go on a shopping spree and the next day I will still feel empty and the need to have more things in my life. When I started the process of becoming a minimalist, the feeling of emptiness disappeared. I no longer have the urge to shop, to have more clothing, etc. I was able to get the most use out of what I had.
6. Don't care about people (aka hater)
Just do what you believe is the best thing to do in life. Regardless of how hard you try, there will always be someone that disagrees or dislike you. We are not born to be like by everyone, we are born to do things we like.
7. Try to step into someone's shoe every once in a while
We are born to be different, our personality, perspective, and beliefs. We are bound to encounter a difference in life, we are bound to disagree with others. It is inevitable to have different opinions. However, we should always view the world from other's perspective, it will not only allow you to gain a better understanding of the whole world but also allows you to understand where others are coming from.
8. Never expect people to treat you the same way you treat others
"Treat others the way you would want to be treated." I used to believe that and I still follow the rules that I will treat others the way I want to be treated. However, I will not expect people to treat me the same way nor receive any form of return. And why is that? Because not everyone shares the same value.
It is much easier to treat people nicely and continue to do so. In comparison to, treat people nicely and fall into the realization that people do not appreciate your niceness at all. Nowadays I just treat people nicely regardless of the way they treat me, I just cannot be bothered to feel "hurt" or "used" by people I used to care for anymore.
The older you get, the more you learn about "people".
The more you learn about people, the more you learn about humanity.
The more you learn about humanity, the more you learn about "selfishness".
The more you learn about selfishness, the more you learn about "to be yourself and to care less".
9. Try new things
New things will bring new blood and a new story into your life. If you do not try, you will never know how it is. We as humans are comfortable in our comfort zone, there is no uncertainty or challenge. However as time goes by, you may hit the "burnout" phase, which you will lose enthusiasm in life.
10. You don't know it all
One thing I learned in the past 25 years is that "you don't know it all".
Keep learning; don't be arrogant by assuming you know it all, that you have a monopoly on the truth, always assume that you can learn something from someone else because you properly will.
11.Love yourself
Most of the time we worried about what other people thought of you, so by the time you get older you start realized it's a lot less of what people think of you, it's a lot more of you think of yourself. The way you see yourself and the way you treat yourself is crucial to how people will treat you. If you think less of yourself, people will think less of you too, so treat yourself well and treat others well too.
12. Nothing remains the same in life, change helps us grow
Nothing remains constant in life, change may feel uneasy and uncertain, but that is exactly why we need to grow. Instead of being afraid of change, embrace it and focus on things you going to learn not things you going to lose.
13. Understand that someone will always be better
One thing I dislike about society is that some people love to compare. I believe sometime to compare is not a bad thing, it will give people an urge to improve in life. I believe there will always be someone that is better at something than you in life, and that's okay. You should never compare because it is unhealthy and unnecessary. But if you must compare, use it as an inspiration to be better, be motivated by it.
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree
If you win every argument, will it bring happiness to your life? The answer is properly no, and you will have fewer people in your life. Learn to agree to disagree and you will learn that life is not always about right or wrong.
15.Focus on what you can do for others rather than what others should be doing for you
Never wait for others to do something for you, do it yourself. It's the only way that you will grow.
16. Things will just be things
Money can buy you medicine, but not health. Money can buy you a watch, but not time. So don't focus on things or money, we should focus on what really matters, for example, people you love and people that love you.
17. A dancer dance. If you want to be a dancer, dance
If you want to be something or someone. Do it. Don't just think about it.
18. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?
I heard this quote from my university professor, and it has been a go-to quote when I feel sad or lost. If it will not matter in five years, then it is not a disaster.
19.“No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.” - Haruki Murakami
Regardless of good or bad memories, it makes who we are at this very moment.
20.Love is more than a feeling; it’s a choice
Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful. Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard, but it is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.
21.Health is underestimated.
Our well-being is more important than most of us treat it: without health, nothing else matters.
22.It’s okay to wait.
Sometimes it’s okay to wait a little longer for something. Why rush if you don’t have to? Why not enjoy the journey?
23.Remember that a failure is an event, not a person.
Never treat a failure as your whole life nor you. It is simply an event that happened in your life. For example, a failed relationship does not equal to the failure of your whole life. It is simply two people that did not work out at the end. Never ever treat a solo failure in life as a life ruining event. Treat it as a lesson.
24. The past has no power over the present moment.
Many of us lived in the shadow of the past. We worry about life based on what we experienced in the past. We worry about whether we will miss our train like the other day and be late to work, you worry about whether your current relationship will end up failing like the previous one etc. But remember, the past has nothing to do with your present life.
25. Life is a never ending journey.
There are much more for me to learn in this so-called life journey. I will never stop learning and I will cherish every moment in life regardless ups or downs.
Lastly, remember age is just a number.
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